Watch out, someone’s spiked the eggnog.
Cornelia Funke’s festive kids’ book is manhandled into a cheap German pantomime, complete with Dogtanian dubbing and the kind of frighteningly surreal plot that gives grown-ups waking nightmares.
A shaggy young Santa is chased out of Christmastown by the dastardly Goblynch and his army of giant inflatable nutcrackers.
Escaping to the real world in a flying caravan, Santa (along with his pet elves and an invisible reindeer) enlist the help of two kids to try and save Christmas.
The filmic equivalent of a lump of coal.