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We think it’s important to follow Lil Wayne (opens in new tab) in all things, so after watching him choose his squad for Ghost Recon: Breakpoint (opens in new tab) we got to thinking about our ideal teammates for the four-player co-op mode. We asked team GamesRadar to choose who their ride or dies are, and – as usual – got some strange answers. We never expected waterfowl to play such a huge part in today’s gaming scene, but it’s not even close to being the weirdest part of 2019.
This is the latest in a series of big questions we’ll be interrogating our writers with, so share your answers and suggestions for topics with us on Twitter. (opens in new tab)
The cute-but-deadly approach
Goose
My first instinct is to recruit Goose… no, not that goose, I mean Captain Marvel’s adorable cat who just so happens to be a Flerken – you know, that alien species that can shoot tentacles from its face. With the agility and deceptive cuteness of a feline, Goose would be able to infiltrate enemy bases and launch surprise attacks on the unwitting Wolves who think he’s just a harmless kitty.
Animal Crossing Villager (Super Smash Bros)
Super Smash Bros Animal Crossing Villager is another deceptively deadly character. As a fighter who became a meme so powerful they cannot be stopped, the villager in Smash with his ruthless killer persona would perfectly befit any dangerous close-combat fighting with ex-ghosts or drones.
Chansey
In every team you need a healer, and with Chansey’s Soft-Boiled move that can heal 50% health, you can’t go wrong. Generally I’d try to keep her out of sight, but the Lucky Punch item Chansey can hold (that increases her critical hit rate) would come in very handy if she gets caught up in any hairy situations.
Dogmeat (Fallout 3)
Having a good doggo who can alert you to an enemy presence with his heightened sense of smell is always helpful when you’re on a dangerous island where lots of folks are out to kill you. He can also scout for loot and find any useful weapon blueprints or gear and generally just be a very good boy. Heather Wald
Team Moiras
Me
I’m going to assume that I’m included in this four-person Ghost Recon squad, because my ego demands that I am important enough to join an elite group of highly-trained military assassins.
Moira from Overwatch – She heals, she damages, she’s an impossibly-tall Irish eugenicist. This may not sound ideal, but the woman has ice cold blood running through her veins (with maybe a dash of Jameson). She can fade in and out of areas (perfect for stealth) and throw damage orbs that’ll bounce around rooms, sucking the life out of enemies. She can also throw healing orbs at people who are rushing in too quickly. Sure, she’s not much of a conversationalist, but I’m not here to talk, I’m here to kill.
Captain Marvel – This is a no-brainer. She’s clearly the most OP superhero in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (she went toe-to-toe with big bad Thanos, for Christ’s sake), and she has amazing hair. She also has a helmet that emphasizes her amazing hair, which hopefully she can procure for me, as well. She’s cool, calm, and collected, and she can change the color of her suit so we could all match and be best friends. Plus, she’s Brie Larson. Need I say more? Oh, the cat can come, too.
Moira from Schitt’s Creek but as Dr. Clara Mandrake from The Crows Have Eyes II – I want two Moiras on my team, okay? Two polar opposite Moiras would bring me immense joy. Plus, Moira Rose has impeccable fashion sense, and we can really double down on being the team with cool hair once she brings all of her wigs to the battlefield. But I specifically request Moira Rose as Dr. Clara Mandrake, a scientist who is half-human, half-crow that leads crow mutants and causes the apocalypse. I want that on my team, no questions asked. The power that she has…untouchable. Alyssa Mercante
Ghost, Goose, Goldblum
Jeff Goldblum – Hidden behind the quirky stutters and tics of a man who has more charisma than he knows what to do with is someone who at least sounds convincing. Give him a script filled with plans and jargon – see Independence Day and Jurassic Park – and he’ll give you a speech to make sure shit gets done. I mean, it’ll probably get everyone killed – but Goldblum makes it all sound worthwhile. A motivator to the very end.
Casper the Friendly Ghost – Unlike some of my other choices (naming no names *cough* Jeff Goldblum), Casper might actually be useful in a fight. He can’t be shot, can breach through walls instantly, and according to the Casper Wiki – trust me, I checked – he’s over 200 years old. I.e. he’s seen some shit. A probable war veteran and unkillable. Punisher, eat your heart out.
The goose from Untitled Goose Game – Our quack team of killers will need some assistance in killing faceless soldiers – and there’s none better at sneaking behind enemy lines than the goose that’s already broken the internet at least twenty times already this month. Mister Goose is equally adept at ruining picnics as he is at committing various war crimes, trust me. It’s all in the eyes.
Captain Price – Because they can’t all be joke answers. What the fuck is Jeff Goldblum, a smiley ghost, and a goose going to do to extremists and separatists Bradley Russell
John Bernthal
I would choose Jon Bernthal’s The Punisher, Jon Bernthal’s Shane from The Walking Dead, and the actor Jon Bernthal, alongside my own in-game character who I’ve made to closely resemble Jon Bernthal, because what better way to take on Colonel Walker, Jon Bernthal’s new villain in Ghost Recon: Breakpoint, than with a literal army of alternative Jon Bernthals. I also love the idea of Walker having an existential crisis from being hunted by a squad of his own clones, with a final showdown that wouldn’t look entirely dissimilar from that Agent Smith fight scene in The Matrix: Reloaded (opens in new tab)… except everyone’s Jon Bernthal. Alex Avard
Witchers, knights and Destiny
Solaire (Dark Souls): Every good squad needs an emotional anchor, and I can’t think of anyone more suited to defusing tense combat situations than the effervescently joyous knight Solaire. He won’t be the stealthiest person in our squad, but he’ll keep morale high.
Geralt (The Witcher): We’re gonna need some go-getters who can get things done, and if Geralt can handle gryphons and werewolves and basilisks, I reckon he’ll have no trouble with a couple of dudes with guns. He’ll have one sword for men, one sword for monsters, and one high-powered assault rifle for armed mercenaries.
Sam Gideon (Vanquish): Admittedly, the main reason Sam is in the squad is because I would kill to see a conversation between him and Geralt. That said, he also knows how to handle a gun and look real cool while smoking a cigarette, and quite frankly those are the most important qualities of any Tom Clancy character.
Zavala (Destiny): This squad needs a leader – a leader with blue skin, no hair, and the ability to create giant impenetrable bubbles when the plot demands it. Zavala also has the added advantage of bringing Lance Reddick’s voice to the squad, which is a huge bonus. Austin Wood
Goku and Lyudmila
Goku: He’s best known for taking on super-powered aliens in hand-to-hand/beam-to-beam combat, but Goku’s also fought plenty of dudes with guns. He’s so strong that their bullets don’t even hurt him.
Super Saiyan Goku: He’s like Goku but way stronger.
Lyudmila Pavlichenko: One of the greatest soldiers in recorded history, Pavlichenko killed at least 309 enemy combatants in her time as a Red Army sniper. The Wolves would scoff at her old-fashioned Mosin-Nagant rifle if they ever managed to get within 300 yards of her, which they would not.
Ultra Instinct Goku: This is the strongest Goku. Not including him on my Ghost Recon squad would be ridiculous. Connor Sheridan
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