This has always been the case. Since the first time I dumped quarters into Double Dragon. Grabbing the sticks with my dad and moving right off the starting point, we’d go on to assault various gang members in hopes of rescuing Billy Lee’s girlfriend. The first goon I ran up on seemingly got it the worst though. Slapping the large “punch” button as hard as I could, I sent the white, muscle shirt-wearing foe reeling. I was hooked. 

Fighting chance

My early experiences playing beat ’em ups were exciting. The reasons are varied, with some being more impactful than others; spending time with my dad after his deployments (thanks to being on active duty in a foreign country) was certainly a highlight. 

One of the things that resonated with me the most though, was the opportunity to be heroic alongside him. We were there to right a wrong and that first punch set the tone. How dare these meatheads assault and kidnap Billy’s girlfriend! You ruffians! En garde or some such. Basically, we wanted all the smoke.

Years later and that sentiment remains. I adore the genre, and the recent influx of beat ’em ups tells me that I’m not alone in that regard. Fans have been enjoying the hell out of games like River City Girls and Mother Russia Bleeds. Judging by the love garnered for the new Battletoads game in some circles, it would seem that the desire to punch random bad guys is stronger than ever. 

This renewed interest in an older genre isn’t new though. We saw the same thing happen with survival horror after Amnesia. That said, I don’t think this resurgence of beat ’em ups was necessarily due to developers capitalizing on a missing genre, at least not entirely. Let them tell it, and they’ll say they’re just fans of Final Fight, Streets of Rage, and so on. That makes sense, given the risks involved; developers have to be pretty confident that people would want to play these retro-inspired games without any pre-existing connection to the genre, considering its perceived faults. 

Beat ’em ups are rather simplistic in design. Repetitive punching and kicking take precedence over things like plot, nuanced characters, and even logic. The genre’s staples struggle to evolve, then, though there are outliers to the pattern, especially nowadays. Treachery in Beatdown City’s menu-based combat system, for example, presents a notable change to the well-worn formula, even if the core experience is still centered on the moment to moment fighting. Everything else comes second, after all. 

Placing the combat above the other aspects of play isn’t a bad choice. Quite the contrary, it’s actually a positive characteristic in most cases. For one, it allows these games to be accessible to just about anyone. This is punch. This is kick. That person over there is the bad guy. Take ’em out! The happenings onscreen would be understood within moments of stepping up to the arcade cabinet or sitting down on your couch. 

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I could have worked on any skill during quarantine, and I chose fighting games

Being repetitive isn’t so bad either. Again, this goes back to being accessible. One of the reasons playing Double Dragon with my dad was so entertaining was because we both were able to hold our own. He didn’t have to explain the rules or stress which buttons did what.

All I had to do was continually hit the enemies until they fell over and blinked out of existence. Upgradable abilities, intricate combos, RPG elements – all of these modern trappings are welcome. My brother and I will often indulge in the complexities of combat. These things aren’t what I look for when sharing this genre with my oldest daughter though.  

Typically, the narrative beats aren’t important. That’s not to say that beat ’em ups don’t have stories worth telling (the Yakuza series is known for its elaborate storyline); it’s just that most of them tend to paint with broad strokes. Everything is black and white. We’re the good guys, they’re the bad guys. In doing so, developers negate some of the moral implications of being a vigilante. 

Justice served

Beat ’em ups often cater to a dangerous side of valor, where the ideal measure of crime fighting is overshadowed by a visceral sense of justice. This is evident in Streets of Rage 4, where Axel and his crew must stop a criminal organization from taking over their city using hypnotic music. The premise is silly, yet having to battle a corrupt police force is anything but. While I’m not one to advocate for a violent response to the systemic issues plaguing our justice system, it doesn’t take much to understand why some of us wouldn’t mind throwing hands with a few of them. 

All bets are off when it comes to Wood Oak City. As Axel, I can freely right a wrong by knocking some sense into a hooligan. A corrupt police chief isn’t so scary when I can summon flames from my hands. I’m not worried about the repercussions or of a nuanced set of characters, with realistic motives and such. Nope. I can simply be on the right side of things, satiating a strong desire to fix some of the world’s deep-seated problems. 

That’s why I always lauded that first punch. When I was younger, it was because it set the tone for what’s to come – a reckoning for evil doers. Fast forward to today, however, and I no longer assume to know what it means to be the hero in every circumstance; we all have the capacity to be wrong, after all. All of that is thrown out when playing video games, though, and while other genres can elicit the same feelings, not many of them also provide this gritty form of entertainment. It felt good saving Hyrule as Link and putting an end to Rafe Adler as Nathan Drake. But neither of them afforded me the pleasure of beating the snot out of a ruthless criminal in his own penthouse.

Many of the beat ’em ups listed here are available through Xbox Game Pass and will be playable on Xbox Series X and Series S. You can read our Xbox Series X hands-on preview here. 

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There is a catch though – you’ll need to play through Act One of the remake in order to get your Battletoads ship set. It sounds like that deal’s ongoing, as Rare says you can finish the mission and earn your reward “any time.” 

Fortunately, Battletoads is launching on Xbox Game Pass, so subscribers won’t need to make a separate purchase, but that does mean everyone else will need to fork up for the special gear cosmetics.

The Battletoads return tomorrow, August 20th, courtesy of @dlalastudios! To celebrate, anyone who finishes Act One of the raucous multi-genre adventure, at any time, will be able to festoon their ship with a family of fighting frogs! Or are they toads? We hear it’s a wart thing. pic.twitter.com/1BRKaglxHEAugust 19, 2020

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Like most ship sets, the Battletoads collection includes themed sails, cannons, capstan, figurehead, flag, hull, and wheel. As you might expect, it makes your ship very green, but it’ll be your opponents who will turn green with envy when they see three giant toads clinging to the front of your ship.

This isn’t the first time Microsoft has brought one of its studio’s IPs into the high seas – the most recent example was a State of Decay ship set, but there’s also been Halo-inspired and Gears 5-inspired Sea of Thieves ship sets. Personally, the only thing cooler than a frog ship would be a turtle ship, which I could only see happening if Microsoft releases an exclusive Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game.

If you’re just setting sail for the first time, don’t miss our essential Sea of Thieves tips for weathering the storm and staying afloat.

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Since time immemorial, video games have included cheat codes. A tiny handful of letters, numbers, and symbols let players experience their favorite games in ways that the developer may not have intended. Infinite lives. All the weapons. Oh, look, a tank just appeared! It’s a great way to get some additional joy out of a game you’ve thoroughly crushed, or perhaps get past a level that’s giving you a really hard time. So then, why would developers put a cheat code in a game and then slap the player’s hand for trying to use it? Because they’re evil, that’s why.

Many games will openly mock, berate, or even punish players for using codes. Plus, with products that specifically change the game’s code (like the GameShark), these penalties aren’t always deliberate. Whether intentional or not, these are some of the most diabolical ways in which games penalize players for cheating. The punishment may not always fit the crime, but the results are usually hilarious. Well, at least when it’s not happening to you..

Banjo-Kazooie will straight up delete your save file

Banjo-Kazooie is a mean, vile beast of a game. Sure, it’s got a bubbly theme song and cutesy bug-eyed characters. But underneath that adorable demeanor lies not only one of the most disturbing abominations to be found in a kids game (opens in new tab), but also a cheat system that will completely ruin your day if you’re not careful.

In order to enter cheats in Banjo-Kazooie, first you have to find a secret keyword, then enter it in a special room inside a sand castle. These cheats won’t get you in trouble, and are a natural part of playing the game. But there are super-secret level-skip cheats that aren’t part of the actual game, and if you enter too many of them, Grunty will swoop down and completely erase your save file. At least your helper Bottles is courteous enough to warn you before you go too far.

Donkey Kong 64 becomes virtually unplayable permanently

Remember the GameShark? Essentially a hexadecimal editor for dummies, the GameShark would rewrite bits of code in the attached game, granting infinite health, ammo, lives, or all sorts of other neat features that the developers never intended. Most of the time, these cheats would go away when you turned the game off. Using it with Donkey Kong 64, however, will make you instantly regret your decision.

Using certain GameShark cheats on Rare’s classic platformer will occasionally cause your game to glitch out in some very strange ways. But that’s not the half of it; the GameShark can also make it so that you literally cannot pick up a single item off the ground, and you’ll always die in one hit. It wouldn’t be so bad if it went away after you turned the game off, but if you accidentally save your game while in this state, this glitch never goes away. Nope, you’re now stuck with a broken game. Forever. I know cheaters shouldn’t prosper, but this is just mean.

Link’s Awakening brands you as a thief for the rest of the game

The shopkeeper in Link’s first Game Boy outing has his eye on you, and if you try to walk out of the store with a pocketful of bombs, he’ll yell at you to come back over to the counter and pay for them. But, if you’re clever, you can (literally) run circles around the store owner, tricking him into looking the other way while you walk out of the store scot-free.

Or so it would seem. You may think you’ve pulled a fast one on the game, but you’ll start to notice that people are starting to nonchalantly call you “THIEF” instead of whatever name you typed in at the start. Also, if you try to go back into the store because you forgot to pick up some arrows to go with that bow you just stole, you’ll find the shopkeeper waiting to laser blast you out of existence. Was it worth it?

Gradius 3 and Super Monkey Ball Jr. punish you for trying to use the Konami Code

Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A. You probably know it as the Konami Code, a sequence so ubiquitous that even non-Konami published games feature this string of button presses. Most of the time it grants the player infinite lives, or some other awesome power or ability. Which is why it it’s incredibly evil when developers prey on players’ expectations and punish them for giving the code a shot.

In the SNES version of Gradius 3 (a Konami game, no less), players who attempted to input this code were “rewarded” with a destroyed space craft. No, you had to replace the “left” and “right” button inputs with L and R button presses to get the real cheat code; something you’d never even know unless you read the Classified Information section in Nintendo Power. Less mean but still kind of emotionally scarring, Super Monkey Ball Jr. on Game Boy Advance changes the title to Super Nice Try if you attempt to put in the Konami code. It’s not even a Konami game.

SimCity will either destroy your city or saddle you with soul-crushing debt

Oh, we all know you’re a hard working mayor, doing your best to keep your metropolis running smoothly, but sometimes things get a little rough, and you have to do whatever you can to get a little extra cash. In the first SimCity game, typing in “FUND” would get you a cool ten grand; more than enough to help float you for a bit. But free money is alluring, and typing in the code too many times will cause an earthquake to rip your city apart. It’s probably God coming to punish you for your avaricious ways.

SimCity 2000 also lets you type “FUND” for some extra cash, but here, it’s given to you as a loan. A 25% loan. Which is worse: a city-shattering earthquake, or debilitating debt? You can type in “CASS” for a smaller amount of $250, but there’s also a 15% chance something terrible will happen to your city. Do you feel lucky?

Afterlife summons a Death Star to destroy your buildings if you get too greedy

Afterlife is pretty much SimCity for heaven and hell. You control both realms of the afterlife, and have to build structures to either reward virtuous spirits or punish naughty ones. It’s also a LucasArts game, which means it’s filled with pop culture references. Namely, a particularly notorious moon-sized space station crops up whenever you decide to play it fast and loose with the cheats.

If you type “$@!” while you’re playing, you’ll get an additional ten million pennies to spend on various implements of torture/virtue. Get a little trigger happy with the copper coins, though, and the Death Star will show up in your metaphysical little kingdom and start cleaning house. Just further proof that you don’t mess with the Dark Side.

Slender: The Arrival doesn’t care if you cheat, because it will find you

Glitching out a horror game so you don’t have to confront its horrors seems to defeat the entire purpose, but hey, you bought the game, and you want to play your way. I get that. The developers of the creepy Slender: The Arrival get that too, and they’ve specifically tuned their game to anticipate any sort of player malfeasance and scare the shit out of you for trying to pull a fast one.

If you attempt to escape from the faceless horror of the Slender Man by glitching outside of the borders of the map, you’re greeted with a ground that has no bottom as you instantly fall to your death. But that’s seems like a typical punishment for trying to walk where a floor hasn’t been programmed. Slender: The Arrival ups the scare factor by taunting you with a haunting “Not even a bug in this game will save you from me” while you die. Damn you, Slender Man! Why must you torment me so?

Guild Wars publically bans you by murdering your avatar with a giant scythe

Cheating in an offline, single-player game isn’t so bad when your conscience is the only thing you have to answer to. But being an unscrupulous player in an online game, with volatile economies and real, in-game consequences well, there’s no excuse for that. Typically, cheats are punished with an account ban and an email detailing why they’ve been booted permanently from the game. But the developers of Guild Wars wanted to make sure that everyone got the message, and have come up with a sadistically brilliant way of doing so.

If your account has been caught breaking the end-user agreement in any way, be it through illegal mods, duplicating items, or whatever other infractions that could otherwise give you an unfair advantage, you’ll get a visit from the massive, screen-filling Dhuum. It’s Guild Wars’ version of the personification of Death–complete with giant scythe–and he pops up out of the ground to slice your character in half (opens in new tab), thus booting you from the game entirely. It’s a win-win for everyone; The Guild Wars team gets to kick out the riff-raff, and the people around the offending player get to have a bit of a laugh. The only person not laughing? Well, they had it coming.

Max Payne 3 cheaters get to share their own little of circle of hell

Now, banning players completely from playing online is a totally understandable thing to do. If you break the rules, you have to face the consequences. But what if you don’t want to kick potential players (and future DLC purchases) out right away? What if you want to give them a chance to atone for their sins, while making sure they never, ever cheat again? Well, you do what Rockstar did, and lump all of the cheaters into one big room full of jerks.

If you get caught cheating in Max Payne 3, you’ll find it increasingly difficult to find matches online, and when you do end up in a match, you’ll notice it’s full of cheaters just like you. That’s right, you’ve been relegated to the cheaters’ servers, and have been banned from normal online play. There is a way to get back on the regular servers, but it probably involves some kind of blood oath or just being nice and not cheating any more. One of the two. Camping, however, won’t get you banned. It might be cowardly, but it’s a legitimate strategy.

Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater

It’s one thing to poke fun; it’s another to completely demolish your save file just because you wanted to skip a level or two. Have you been berated by a game for trying input some hot Game Genie codes? Let me know in the comments below!

Be sure to check out this Top 7 list of insane video game musical numbers no one asked for (opens in new tab), or gaming’s 15 best living weapons. (opens in new tab)

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Ever since Nintendo announced its 3D Classics initiative for the 3DS eShop, our imaginations have been working in overdrive dreaming of the many ways our favorite games could benefit from a three-dimensional facelift. Now, nearly one year since its launch, we’re still… well… waiting.

With just a handful of downloads to choose from, the selection of 3D Classics is slim to say the least. Sure, we dig how Nintendo made Excitebike exciting again, or how it gave Kirby a little girth, but we thought by now our 3DS hard drives would be replete with classic NES, Game Boy, and Sega games in glorious 3DS-O-Vision.

Suffice to say, Nintendo has a long way to go before 3D Classics becomes the shop it was born to be. Thankfully, it also has hundreds of so-called classics to work with. So where should it begin on its road to digital salvation? We have some ideas…

Battletoads

Rare’s answer to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles proved there was room for another gang of sass-talking amphibious brawlers, and sometimes it was way more fun to smack around our friends than actually pay attention to the game. Blending side-scrolling levels with technically advanced (at the time) faux-3D sequences, the co-op beat-em-up headbutted the platforming genre into the future and still holds up after all these years.

Re-jigged as a 3D classic, climbing the Dark Queen’s tower would take on a whole new depth, as would riding waves in Surf City, rappelling down the Wookie Hole, or spelunking into Volkmire’s Inferno. And yes, adding an extra dimension might actually help us get through the notorious Speeder Bike level without kicking a puppy. I’s unlikely Rare will dust off Rash, Zitz, and Pimple for a new sequel anytime soon, so a Battletoads entry in the 3D Classics library might be our only chance to chill out with the other green heroes from our past.

Marble Madness

Few games are as a ripe for 3DS controls as Marble Madness. Atari’s arcade skill game was all about manipulating a sphere through a 2.5D maze using exacting controls and the patience of a monk. Minus the monk part, the 3DS is more than equipped to improve upon the core mechanics, sporting motion controls and 3D imaging that would tranform Marble Madness into the experience it was designed to be back in the mid-80s.

Nintendo’s already tinkered with Marble Madness remakes and sequels on the DS and Wii. So while the concept of controlling the marble with something other than a directional pad has been done, a makeover for the 3DS would pair those updated controls with bona fide 3D courses, making for one addictive download.

Paperboy

Paperboy’s been ported many times since its debut in 1984, but there’s still room in our hearts and bank accounts for an extra-dimensional version of Atari’s arcade action game. What better way to pay tribute to the paper-chucking classic than by bringing a new visual depth the game’s rolling suburban landscape? With a new home on the 3DS, Nintendo could lift Paperboy from its 2D cabinet perspective, and really make those houses, mailboxes, and house cats feel like actual objects and obstacles. Given the skill-based nature of Paperboy’s gameplay, Nintendo could also bring classic gamers into the fold with an online leaderboard or score attack challenges.

On a technical level, it would take some skill to add a field of depth to Paperboy’s constantly scrolling environments. But then, if Nintendo is willing to put in the extra effort, we’ll be happy to leave a tip.

Drill Dozer

Drill Dozer was an innovative action puzzler for Game Boy Advance that’s been all but forgotten despite winning over critics and gamers alike back in 2005. Offering more than your cut-and-paste platformer, Game Freak (of Pokemon fame) and its drill-centric adventure challenged players with combating enemies and navigating maze-like levels with a drill that could be upgraded and tweaked for various effects. Mastering the art of the drill was essential to solving the game’s puzzles and besting end-level bosses. It was a game for thinkers and twitch gamers alike, and more than deserving of a second shot at greatness. As a plus, new 3D visuals could help distinguish the game’s interactive elements from the background, better define Jill’s playground, or at the very least bring a cult classic back with some nifty new tricks.

Gradius

Xevious is a decent shooter in a pinch, but if we could pick one golden oldie to represent the shooter genre in the 3D Classics library, it would be Gradius all the way. Konami ushered in one of the strongest shooter series on Nintendo’s debut console, and introduced the world to the Konami code; two strong reasons why Vip Viper deserves to be recommissioned for Ninty’s newest handheld.

Fanboy fawning aside, where Xevious’s top-down perspective looks plenty fine with a three-dimensional tweak, the effect would be put to better use on Gradius’s side-scrolling missions. It would add a new perspective the hectic action, and affect gameplay in a meaningful (albeit, largely superficial) way. Xevious is a solid fighter, but now it’s time to call up the big boys.

Metal Gear

Modern day Snake fans already got their Metal Gear fix with this year’s Solid Snake Eater 3D (read our review (opens in new tab)), so it’s only fair that retro-3DS gamers get a crack at one of the spy’s original missions. Bringing Metal Gear’s debut title back into play would fill in Snake’s handheld resume, and the inclusion of 3D visuals would spice up the straightfoward top-down action sequences. Nintendo wouldn’t even need to lift a finger to fit the new look with Metal Gear Solid’s gameplay; except for possibly enhancing the stealth elements by programming AI to recognize Snake’s height and position. It’s a long shot, we know.

Frankly, we’re surprised Metal Gear Solid hasn’t been released for the 3DS eShop, considering all the hype it generated for Konami’s Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater remake. We predict it’ll infiltrate Nintendo’s digital warehouse eventually, so why not use the franchise’s popularity to raise a few alarms in the 3D Classics section?

Castle of Illusion Starring Mickey Mouse

With Mickey Mouse slated to return in two new flavors this fall (Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two for Wii and Epic Mickey 2: Power of Illusion for the 3DS) you can bet Disney is polishing off at least one of its classic Castle of Illusion games for re-release. Instead of rehashing the Sega series for Wii’s Virtual Console, it would be in Disney’s best interest to bring the fetchingly animated platformer to Nintendo’s 3D Classics as a way to promote the lackluster library and give 3DS Mousekateers an opportunity to enjoy one of Mickey’s earliest adventure with a little added flair.

So what makes Mickey great for 3D? Castle of Illusion was already one of the prettiest games for the Sega Genesis when it bounced out in 1990, so we’d love to see those themed “rooms” in the titular Castle of Illusion come alive through the separation of the lovingly rendered backgrounds and the equally pleasing character animations. With only a few touch ups, this would be a visual treat on the 3DS.

Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow

The 3DS is hurting for a solid Metroidvania experience, and while Konami has hinted we might see Castlevania: The Adventure arrive for the regular NES section somewhere down the road, we’d prefer to see the vampire slaying series represented by one of its stronger chapters, Aria of Sorrow. The third Castlevania game for the Game Boy Advance, this sequel carried the series into the year 2035, and re-coated the gothic series in a colorful and futuristic sheen that would stand out on the 3DS’s screen. We can see the 3D effect used to create a multi-dimensional map, and the duel screens coming in handy for on-the-fly equipment changes. What’s more, porting the sequel to Nintendo’s newest handheld would also let players make use of the Tactical Souls feature without having to fumble around with a transfer cord.

Arguably, there are a handful of Castlevania games that would equate to great 3D adventuring; each requiring only the separation of the gaming planes to compliment the already tight gameplay. Ideally, we’d love for all Castlevania games to be resurrected in glorious 3D, but we don’t want to seem too greedy.

Ristar

Because Nintendo is an equal opportunity employer (and non-Nintendo mascots deserve a little love too), we see no reason why Sega’s own Ristar can’t be selected for a 3D upgrade. Produced in 1995, Ristar was a well-received platforming title that made up for its underwhelming character design through the innovative use of Ristar’s stretchable arm mechanic that was used to grapple, swing, and propel players through the game’s twelve levels. This is another video gaming classic that would need very little retooling to be fitted with a 3D body, and one in which an extra dimension would make Ristar’s colorful foregrounds and multi-layered background truly shine.

Ristar never came close to rivaling Sonic’s popularity, despite cribbing the hedgehog’s general feel and vibrant aesthetics. Regardless, Ristar’s entries for the Sega Genesis and Game Gear were close to as enjoyable. That’s why Ristar has already been invited to Wii’s Virtual Console, and why we’re rooting for this B-grade mascot on the 3DS.

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