Freddy meets Hollyoaks meets Emmerdale meets The Bill in this cheap-as-chips horror mash-up, featuring TV’s finest – and Robert Englund, in a pointless five-minute cameo.

Cockney lycans go nose-to-knockers with dancing girls in a London nightclub; the script’s very funny but with the exception of the charismatic Simon Phillips (as a nerdy vampire hunter), none of the actors seem to realise they’re in a comedy.

Shame, as with better casting/plot/direction/effects and a bigger budget, this could just about have been the UK’s answer to From Dusk Till Dawn .

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