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You have one chance–one chance–to make a first impression. So why would you squander it with a hideous image? Box art designers have failed to learn this lesson time and again, constantly slapping a repugnant visual onto the cover of their game and shipping it to store shelves. Though the well of horrid DS and Wii shovelware has been running dry as of late, we’ve still been able to wrangle together 50–count ’em, 50–specimens from the bottom of the bad box art barrel.
As is tradition, we’d like to remind you that we’re not passing judgment over the games themselves–just the boxes that they unfortunately shipped in. With that, let’s steel ourselves to run the gauntlet of the ugliest, most unappealing, and flat-out worst box art of 2012…
50. 737 Professional
Inner monologue of that poorly-Photoshopped-in man in the foreground: “$#!*, I locked the keys inside.”
49. Xia-Xia
Let’s pretend, for a moment, that young girls would have an affinity for brightly colored hermit crabs. Even IF they had any clue how to pronounce this game name, or had any interest in skittering and/or scattering, how does the presence of a living globe, clock, cupcake, and stunted eskimo make any sense? At all?
48. Spy Hunter
The longer you stare at this cripplingly boring boxart, the less value your life seems to have. Also, guys, a Spy Hunter game came out this year. Yeah, we dont remember it either.
47. Smart as
Some of the worlds greatest mathematicians have been driven to madness by one cryptic formula: ? +13. Whats the missing number? Only after youve plummeted into the deepest depths of cerebral insanity can you know the answer.
46. MIB: Alien Crisis
Not only could they not afford to license the likenesses of Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, or Josh Brolin, but were not even sure thats the same pug from the Men In Black movies. Cmon, guys.
45. Warriors Orochi 3
Typically, when were spear-fighting someone, we have this habit of actually looking in the direction of the person were clashing blades with. Throw in a hydra in the background with absolutely no context, and youve got some truly golden box art.
44. Order Up!!
If a chef delivered our food to the table with a chin looking like that, wed immediately lose our appetites. Also: Was the second exclamation point really necessary?
43. Carrier Command: Gaia Mission
Honestly, the bottom half isnt so bad. The top half, on the other hand, depicts a creepy, dead-eyed man doing the E.T. finger. Could this the grown-up version of the freaky space baby from 2001?
42. Wheel of Fortune
I’d like to buy a better-looking game, Pat.
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For sixteen years, Capcom has been unleashing hordes of zombies upon us in the form of Resident Evil. With close to two-dozen games in the franchise, it’s easy to get lost in the lore. It’s even more complicated for newcomers to the series who haven’t been following all the twists, turns, back-stabbings, deaths, revivals, and variations on viruses that have permeated Resident Evils narrative.
With Resident Evil 6 (opens in new tab) about to drop like a bomb on Raccoon City, we decided to put together this Cliff Notes version of Resident Evil to make sure you’re ready for the next installment. It goes without saying, but if you’ve somehow managed not to play a Resident Evil game in the last decade-and-a-half, beware of spoilers.
The Umbrella Corp is the root of all evil (also the root of all zombies)
Everything in Resident Evil (opens in new tab) starts with the Umbrella Corporation. A major pharmaceutical and medical research company, Umbrella was constantly working on consumer grade products like food and cosmetics. Meanwhile, they were also elbow-deep in the manufacturing of biological weapons.
Those very same weapons would ultimately be the downfall of the company. (Note to all future pharmaceutical CEOs, don’t fire the guy who has access to the virus that will turn your secret underground research facility into ground zero for a zombie outbreak.) After a few other instances of bad luck with a batch of biological terrorism, Umbrella crumbled, but the company’s legacy would impact the world for the foreseeable future.
Raccoon City is where it all started
Remember that secret underground research facility we mentioned? Well it happened to be located beneath a mansion on the outskirts of Raccoon City. Though the initial outbreak was limited to the facility in the Arklay Mountains, some of the virus happened to find its way into the sewer system, which in turn led to a vast majority of Raccoon City turning into mindless monsters with a very particular palette.
Raccoon City’s outbreak was contained a few days after it had begun, but it took a lot of hard work, diligence, square cranks, green herbs, and a few nuclear warheads. Though Umbrella was able to cover up this first small incident, many more would soon follow. Mostly because the company was interested in wiping out the population, but also so Capcom could make another sequel.
The outbreaks have always been contained
For the most part, the zombie outbreaks in Resident Evil have been fairly self-contained. Though each new game in the Resident Evil franchise saw its characters exploring new corners of the world, the catastrophe had yet to reach a global scale like it has in Resident Evil 6. Previous games saw the occurrences happen in a single city, a mansion, a cargo ship, or a secluded island.
Of course, not counting the Outbreak spin-offs (which no one does), Resident Evil 6 is the first game in the franchise with so many lead protagonists. It makes sense then the conflict at the heart of the game would have to be bigger than anything that came before. Ultimately, you’re still battling hordes of zombies, still searching for ammunition, and still trying to find the door the rooster key opens.
Chris Redfield has been battling Umbrella from the start
Chris Redfield is the only returning protagonist from the first Resident Evil. He was there at the mansion when Umbrella first unleashed hell, and he’s still chasing the undead to this very day. Of course, he’s started using HGH as a performance enhancer to keep up with all the advances in modern day zombie outbreaks, but hes still the same old Chris Redfield at heart.
Chris has lost a partner or two over the years, but somehow he’s still managed to push on in his quest to rid the world of bio organic weapons. Umbrella may no longer be a thorn in his side, but the amount of damage they caused while in business has created plenty of problems for Chris and the BSAA to solve. It’d be nice for the poor guy to get a break, but as the star or co-star of four games in the franchise, it doesn’t look like Chris will be ending his crusade any time soon.
Chris and Albert Wesker used to be partners
Chris was once a member of an elite special forces detachment in the Raccoon City Police Department called the Special Tactics and Rescue Service. Also on S.T.A.R.S. was a man by the name of Albert Wesker. Both he and Chris were both on the scene at the mansion outbreak, though their motives may have been a bit different.
Despite his penchant for sunglasses, menacing voice, and general creepy disposition, Chris didn’t think anything was wrong with Wesker.
Until Wesker was revealed to be a superhuman evil mastermind
Wesker set the S.T.A.R.S. team up to die in the mansion that night, yet Chris foiled his plans. Rather than being caught, Wesker injected himself with a prototype virus that only made it appear as if he had died. Instead, he was resurrected with newfound strength, speed, and the ability to regenerate, which is always what happens to people who inject themselves with mysterious liquids.
Albert tried to continue the work of Umbrella for the next few years. He also continued to star as one of the main antagonists of the franchise. In Resident Evil 5 (opens in new tab) though, Chris finally managed to track Wesker down in Kijuju, and put an end to all the misery he’d caused countless millions of people.
And then Chris had to kill him
Holding a grudge as long as Chris had was bound to end badly for Albert once Chris finally caught up to him. Even though Wesker had all the heightened senses and abilities one would expect from a science experiment, and he injected himself with another deadly strain known as the Uroboros virus, that still wasnt enough to stop Chris from kicking him into a volcano.
We know what youre thinking. If Wesker is dead, why did we need to know all of that information about him? Well it just so happens Wesker had a kid named Jake, who believe it or not, is one of the protagonists in Resident Evil 6. Will Jake go all Inigo Montoya on Chris? Will Chris proudly show off the boot with which he kicked Jake’s fathers posterior? We cant wait to find out.
Before working for the US government, Leon Kennedy was an ordinary cop in Raccoon City
During the outbreak in Raccoon City, the new cop in town Leon Kennedy was basically left to fight off Umbrella all on his own. Maybe he had a little bit of help from Chris sister Claire Redfield, but Leon definitely did most of the heavy lifting. During his time in the city, Leon befriended a young girl name Sherry Birkin, whose father Leon had to kill after he infected himself with the G-virus. Were sensing a theme here.
Leon managed to destroy Umbrellas underground facility and escape the city by train before it was blown to smithereens by the U.S. government. Funnily enough, that same government then hired Leon for his expertise, and turned him from an everyman rookie cop into one of the most able special agents in history.
Leon saved the last US President’s daughter from Los Zombies
As a special agent, one of Leon’s missions was recovering the then-President’s daughter, Ashley, from the hands of a Spanish cult known as Los Illuminados. There’s no such thing as routine in the world of Resident Evil, so what should have been an easy recovery mission soon turned into another one-man battle against a zombie outbreak.
This time though, the outbreak was even more dangerous because the infected werent undead. They were merely hosts to a parasite known as the Plaga, which allowed the people to be controlled by a master, and gain strength, speed, and an ability to resist pain. Leon was able to overcome the odds stacked against him once more, and saved Ashley (despite her best efforts to get herself killed), forever ensuring his place at the President’s side.
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Keiji Inafune has become quite the legend in the gaming industry over the past twenty five years as he’s developed a slew of highly memorable, endlessly celebrated titles. He’s the mind behind Mega Man, Onimusha, Dead Rising, and the upcoming (awesome-looking (opens in new tab)) new Vita title, Soul Sacrifice.
So our ears perked up a bit when we learned that he’s announced that he’s started work on a brand new title called Yaiba. And when we were informed that the game will feature ninjas, zombies, and mechs we just about keeled over. Inafune, you genius, you’ve done it again!
Details are still incredibly scarce on the new title, “I am not at freedom to disclose the details just yet,” Inafune said in a press release today. “But I am confident you will enjoy this new concept consisting of zombies with action, ninjas and mechs.”
“Everywhere I go, people ask me, ‘When is it coming?’” he continued. “There are so many zombie games out there, yet people ask me for a new Inafune zombie game. I am grateful for people’s respect for me as the ‘zombie game creator’ and to fulfill that I must answer their expectations with YAIBA.”
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Capcom officially announced today that they are planning to release a set of downloadable content shortly after the launch ofResident Evil 6 (opens in new tab)next month. The pack will reportedly include three new multiplayer modes.
The first new mode will be called Survivor’s Mode which is your basic last-man-standing deal, but with the added catch that once you’re dead you respawn as an infected, attempting to kill players. If you’re able to kill two players you’ll respawn as human again.
The second mode is called Predator Mode in which all players cooperate to try to take down one beastly AI enemy. The final mode is called Siege Mode and pits two teams against each other as one attempts to protect an AI NPC, and the other tries to take said NPC down.
Capcom isn’t letting loose exactly when the DLC will be launching, but has said that all of these modes will support six players and will use maps from the Mercenaries pool. They’ve also said that further Mercenaries maps are in the works for DLC as well.
As per Capcom’s timed-exclusivity agreement with Microsoft, all DLC will be coming to Xbox 360 first.
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Capcom has announced today that they will be opening up aResident Evil themed restaurant (opens in new tab)in Japan next month to tie-in with (and promote) the upcoming release of Resident Evil 6 in October.
Unfortunately, the question we’re all dying to know the answer to – “what’s on the menu?” – has not yet been announced, but we wait with bated breath to know what kind of food will be served at a restaurant themed on a video game about the eating of human flesh.
The restaurant will feature special swag for fans of the series along with performances by the dance troupe S.T.A.R.S. Angelique. Biohazard Cafe & Grill S.T.A.R.S. will only be open for about one year, and will host its grand opening in Shibuya, Tokyo on July 13, 2012.
We’re very much looking forward to finding out how many people are willing to eat at a restaurant called Biohazard.
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]]>We’re so glad to see the game is coming out this year, as it seems like every game announced these days is at least a year off. We’ll keep updating this story as more info becomes available, so stay tuned.
UPDATE: Capcom just released a press release for RE6 that’s full of important details. See for yourself:
Capcom, a leading worldwide developer and publisher of video games, is very proud to announce that Resident Evil 6 is in full development and scheduled for release on the Xbox 360 video game and entertainment system from Microsoft and PlayStation 3 computer entertainment system on November 20, 2012 with a Windows PC version to follow. Blending action and survival horror, this latest instalment in the multi-million selling franchise is the most ambitious, immersive and feature rich title of the series to date and promises to be the dramatic horror experience of the year.
It has been ten years since the Raccoon City incident and the President of the United States has decided to reveal the truth behind what took place in the belief that it will curb the current resurgence in bioterrorist activity. Due to be by the President’s side is his personal friend and Raccoon City survivor, Leon S. Kennedy, but when the venue suffers a bioterrorist attack, Leon is forced to face a President transformed beyond recognition and make his hardest ever decision. At the same time, Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance member Chris Redfield arrives in China, itself under threat of a bioterrorist attack. With no country safe from these attacks and the ensuing outbreaks, the entire world’s population is united by a common fear that there is no hope left.
In a first for the franchise, Resident Evil 6 sees series favorites Leon and Chris come together to face this unprecedented threat. They will be joined by new characters, each with their own unique perspective and involvement, in this relentless dramatic horror experience enacted on a global scale.
“Resident Evil 6 represents a giant stride forward in the evolution of the series,” commented Katsuhiko Ichii, Head of R&D and Global Marketing. “The development team, led by Hiroyuki Kobayashi, is working tirelessly to deliver the most impressive Resident Evil® title ever both in terms of scope and production values. We are all genuinely excited by the title and cannot wait to share it with the world.”
Hiroyuki Kobayashi, Resident Evil 6 Executive Producer added: “From the outset the team’s intention was to create an experience that delivers a gripping storyline, tense single-player and co-op action all set against a constant theme of horror. We are calling this fusion dramatic horror and are confident it will resonate with both existing fans of the series as well as newcomers.”
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