As for the small screen, TV shows that are currently airing often go on hiatus over the holiday period or wrap things up completely in time for Christmas, so it’s the perfect time to do some rewatching. And what better thing to rewatch over the holiday season than a festive episode of your favourite show? 

There are Christmassy instalments of Friends and South Park if you want something to make you laugh, or more unconventional festive content from The Twilight Zone and American Horror Story if you fancy something a bit spookier. Read on to find out our picks for the best Christmas TV episodes of all time.

• The best Christmas movies
• The best Netflix movies to watch right now
• The best Netflix shows to watch right now

25. Smallville, “Lexmas” 

After getting shot and slipping into a coma Lex is visited by the ghost of his mother. Smallville does It’s A Wonderful Life. Luthor’s trip into an alternate world is explained through one simple choice: what if he’d told his dad to stick LexCorp? 

Like Capra’s bittersweet Christmas classic, Lexmas is tinged with both joy and regret. Had he taken a different path, Lex would be married to Lana, have a doting child, and be best buddies with his arch enemy Clark Kent. His vision comes to a grisly end when Lana dies giving birth to their second child; and wakes him from the coma. Lex chooses to stay with his father and not pursue his dreams. It’s an interesting choice for such a ruthless villain, to take a lonely life in order to prevent someone else’s suffering. That’s a bit Christmassy, right? 

24. Roswell, “A Roswell Christmas Carol”

It’s easy to forget that sometimes the most insight can come from places you wouldn’t expect. Roswell deals with fish out of water antics as its Earth-bound teenage aliens try to keep their identities secret. 

The show’s Christmas episode marks a departure from that recipe and ventures into a bolder plotting: what would happen if Max let an innocent die to save his own secret? The answer comes in a dark, compelling method as the father he watches perish – in front of their own kid, by the way – on Christmas Eve haunts him for letting him die. The true sense of giving takes over the rest of the episode, as Max can’t help but heal an entire children’s ward. No matter what it costs him. 

23. Friends, “The One With The Holiday Armadillo”

Friends corners the market on Thanksgiving episodes, but that’s not to say its Christmas offerings are shabby in comparison. This season seven entry explores Ross’ desire for his son to have a rounded education of the holiday season. As the Gellers are Jewish and Ben knows nothing of his heritage Ross masterminds a cunning plan to make Hanukkah appealing to his son… by inventing Santa’s Tex-Mex pal, the holiday armadillo. 

It wouldn’t be Friends if the whole debacle didn’t collapse into a bout of silliness, which it does, as soon as Chandler walks in wearing a Santa costume. But how will Ross make his Christmas-centric boy listen now, with the big red guy in the room? That’s not a concern for long, as Joey walks in dressed as Spider-Man. 

22. The Twilight Zone, “Night of the Meek” 

Asked to imagine a Twilight Zone Christmas special, your mind is probably drawn to quite a sinister place. A part of the psyche that makes us ponder the spooky, weird and downright odd. For a Christmas special, that only spells out one possibility: there’s got to be some macabre plot, right? A happy family’s joyous festivities wrecked by a dark truth, waiting to be uncovered in the last act.  

Well, the show’s seasonal offering – Night of the Meek – isn’t all that eerie. Sure, it still possesses a narrative twitch that wanders into the supernatural, but it’s a cheery supernatural. A recently-fired department store Santa makes a wish to the universe, asking that the meek be allowed to inherit the earth. That doesn’t happen, literally, but he is given a special sack that produces specific gifts perfect for each recipient. Pretty cool, eh?  

21. Warehouse 13, “Secret Santa”

The biggest gift SyFy gave to fans of its mystical artefacts show was the return of agent Myka, who resigned in the previous episode. Secret Santa takes place out of the regular timeline to counter this slight continuity issue, with Pete and Myka journeying to Los Angeles on an investigation concerning a Christmas tree ornament. Its powers fit the theme of the week: while it gives the bearer the chance to make their wishes come true, it also harbours a desire to bring harmony to the world. 

Claudia, meanwhile, attempts to bring peace to Artie when she locates his old childhood piano as a Christmas gift… and his estranged father. Not all surprises stem from a centuries-old mythology. Although the original mistletoe – that forces people to smooch – is neat touch. 

20. Chuck, “Chuck Versus Santa Claus”

Chuck’s weekly source of conflict takes a double-pronged approach for his Christmas extravaganza. His everyday ruse as an employee of Buy More brings the big guns, literally. After a high-speed pursuit, a disgruntled man crashes his car through the front windows and holds the store hostage. 

The whole episode won plaudits for its brilliant gags, that come thick and fast in what’s essentially an homage to Die Hard. Chuck’s not ripped like John McClane, but he’s got the goods where it counts as he refuses to abandon his friends and co-workers when offered an escape route. 

19. South Park, “Mr Hankey, the Christmas Poo”

The South Park team write an entire episode dedicated to a piece of fecal matter in a red velvet hat, and conclude with a seasonal message of all-encompassing love and understanding. That’s the gist of this crude takedown of religious exclusion. Kyle’s Jewish heritage comes up short at Christmas when the entire town fails to acknowledge his holiday beliefs for the school play. 

Enter: Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo. Kyle’s brown-loaf pal pops up to bring him friendship at a time of loneliness, a secular mascot who is only seen by those who believe in him. Everything turns out well in the end, after people open their minds, and allow the Christmas poo to enter their hearts. 

18. Millennium, “Omerta”

It takes a certain type of show to pull off a novelty episode. A Christmas-themed one requires either an easily-adaptable premise or a fanbase who simply lap up every broadcast. What makes Millennium a strange choice for the seasonal treatment is that it’s neither of those things. 

And yet, Omerta wrings the Christmas spirit out of its mobster-monster plot with a twinkle in its eye. There’s the two women who appear as angels, who turn out to be supernaturally gifted, driving most of the action. When the focus turns to Frank and his daughter Jordan the real “miracle” happens. Their Christmas getaway is thwarted early on by the case, leaving little time for present buying but enough to realise that family is what’s most important. 

17. Mad Men, “Christmas Comes But Once A Year”

Christmas Comes But Once A Year is a bit of a tongue-in-cheek episode title for Mad Men, a show centred around a company for which every single day is practically Christmas. So what do you do if over-indulgence is your entire life? Don Draper and his cohorts barely last a moment without puffing on a cig, or necking a generous pour of whiskey, and their seasonal hootenanny ups the ante considerably. It has to. Roger learns that a Lucky Strike rep – who no-one likes – is attending, and the firm desperately needs his continued business. 

Twinned with Don’s turbulent home life post-divorce, the episode strikes an uneasy balance between appreciating what you have and grasping at what you might lose. 

16. American Horror Story: Asylum, “Unholy Night”

The last place on Earth you’d ever want to spend Christmas is at Briarcliffe asylum. Neither do its patients, to be honest, who have no choice in enduring the holidays at the hands of its deranged nurses and sadistic surgeons. 

As expected, the festive spirit is well and truly dampened when Sister Mary Eunice shows mercy to a convicted serial killer Leigh Emerson. Locked up for murdering several people dressed as Santa Claus, he’s given back his costume as a gesture of good will, in the hopes that he will feel remorse. A bit of a bizarre act seeing as he’s still intent on slashing and stabbing anyone he feels is deserving of death; but hey, at least he uses an ornamental star to do his dirty work. 

15. Scrubs, “My Own Personal Jesus” 

The quirky brilliance of Scrubs is how the writers, directors, and actors manage to carefully balance humour and drama. The show’s Christmas episode delves into both, following Turk’s journey in particular after an especially harrowing Christmas Eve in the E.R. Like the show’s best efforts, the episode treads from outright silly to warm and compassionate, as Turk’s struggle with faith is matched by Dr Cox’s inanity and some killer put-downs from Kelso. 

Those seeking a heart-warming conclusion won’t be left out; Turk, JD and Eliot’s separate stories are eventually joined together by the missing pregnant woman… who naturally ends up giving birth at a nativity scene. 

 14. Bob’s Burgers, “Christmas in the Car” 

Remember Duel? The Steven Spielberg movie about the innocent guy who enters into a spot of road rage by a barmy trucker? Bob’s Burgers incorporates that basic plot into its Christmas episode. It’s a stunningly original piece of festive storytelling that finds the Belcher clan out in the woods hunting down their third tree, following the premature deaths of the first two.  

Packed with all the offbeat humour the show is known for, it also boasts a heart-warming – yet not too gooey – centre. The family stick together as a huge truck kitted out like a giant candy cane bears down on them. Who really needs to be in a toasty living room, feasting on festive snacks when the only thing that matters is who you’re with? Oh, and keep your eye out for Louise, Gene and Tina’s awesome Santa trap, too. 

13. Peep Show, “Seasonal Beatings” 

Peep Show built its reputation on revealing the cynical inner monologues of its two leads. That brusque and often painfully frank look at Mark and Jez is somehow topped by the Christmas special, when Mark’s dad – who doesn’t get a voiceover – manages to make things even more awkward.  

But that’s the star atop the tree. First there’s Jez and Mark’s squabbling over presents, Jez’s “jokes” about the Christmas dinner and Mark’s explosive responses. By the time the family arrives, the seeds have been sown for a monumental social meltdown. Enter Mr. Corrigan, who belittles Dobby, Mark’s girlfriend, over dinner and whinges about the lack of cauliflower… despite the fact it’s not seasonal. Everything you love about Peep Show is included. You’ll be cringing from start to finish. 

12. Parks and Recreation, “Citizen Knope” 

It’s no secret in the world of Parks and Recreation that Pawnee’s most ambitious citizen, Leslie Knope, is also an absolutely amazing gift-giver. You might think you’ve got this year’s Christmas presents sorted, but one look at Leslie’s assembly of gifts and you’d be weeping. Hence, the Citizen Knope episode puts a festive spin on her generosity by allowing the rest of the gang – Ron, April, Tom, Donna and Andy – to pay it forward.

With Leslie off work following a sex scandal incident, and desperate to be involved in local government in some way she starts a citizens action group, the Parks Committee of Pawnee (“… or PCP. Because like the drug PCP, we are so fast-acting and powerful we should be illegal.”) She also loses the two staffers helping her campaign for city council. While it seems all doom and gloom for the Knope, her friends rally around and make her the best gift ever and give themselves as her new workers. There won’t be a dry eye on the couch for this one. Funny as heck, and it’ll give you all the feels. 

11. Veronica Mars, “An Echolls Family Christmas”

Life for Veronica Mars is seldom carefree and Christmas is no exception. Neptune’s teenage detective pushes through a holiday fraught with the typical trappings of her job; celebrity stalkers and illegal poker games. Apart from a light smattering of fake snow, dappling the Californian carolers out and about, the episode keeps its focus on the usual noirish thrills. 

While Veronica attempts to uncover the truth behind a poker game’s winnings – and completely slays at the game, to boot – her dad is tasked with protecting a celebrity. It wouldn’t be the same show if things didn’t get dark, and so the final stabbing might be just what you need to counter the sentimentality of the season. 

10. Grimm, “12 Days of Krampus”

For a fantasy series built loosely around Grimm’s fairy tales, it was only a matter of time before ole’ Krampus showed up. While a chunk of the episode spends its time dealing with European creatures – aka, wesen as the show refers to them – the seasonal lore kicks off with Nick and Hank investigating a bunch of robberies.

The episode opens on a couple of kids pinching a car-load of Christmas presents. Krampus represents the moral conscience of society – albeit rather violently – and teaches both of the thieving youngsters a lesson. Yeah, it’s a bit harsh when he slices ’em up and chucks them into a sack, but it’s doubtful they’ll ever be naughty again.

9. 30 Rock, “Ludachristmas”

Whenever Liz Lemon’s eyes roll back in her head, and she lets out an exhausted sigh, it’s usually a good indicator that Tracy and Jenna are trying to dupe someone more clueless than they are. Ludachristmas finds Lemon dealing with a different strife; the meddlesome ways of Jack’s mother Colleen. The pride of Liz’s parents, evidenced by their wide-eyed awe on the set of the ‘Who Farted?’ sketch, comes tumbling down at a seasonal dinner with the Donaghys. Their first real shouting match is the perfect Christmas present from Colleen to her son, proof that every family is dysfunctional. Which… is even more dysfunctional. 

or the rest of the TGS staff Kenneth teaches them the true meaning of Christmas by screening a video of third world orphans joyously unwrapping blocks of wood. The lesson learned? Chopping down the Rockefeller tree in lieu of gifts. 

8. Futurama, “Xmas Story”

In the future Santa is a four-ton robot created by The Friendly Robot Company, an evil corporation whose sole ambition is to rule the world with an iron, capitalist fist. A perfect allegory for the commercialism of Christmas, then.

Of all the far-out wackiness seen on Futurama transforming a well-loved iconic figure into a terrifying emblem of fear is a masterstroke. A glitch in Santa’s programming causes his traditional judgement of “naughty or nice?” to be taken far too literally; he thinks everyone needs to be punished. Robot Santa spends Christmas Eve cruising the skies in his robotic sleigh, mowing down innocent bystanders with his machine gun. Only when Fry offers him an exotic bird as a bribe does he holster his weapon. And even then he’s reticent to stop his spree.

7. Community, “Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas”

One of the finest ever stop-motion episodes of any series revolves around the Greendale Community Gang’s most pop culture-savvy member. Abed’s crises surrounding the holiday forces his study group buddies to see the world as he does: via stop-motion animation. As Christmas delusions go, it’s far and away the most entertaining, with Abed’s friends doing whatever they can to “control” his psychotic slip. 

Pterodactyls, a boxset of Lost… they try it all, but eventually come to their senses as Abed explains to them, The meaning of Christmas is the idea that Christmas has meaning. And it can mean whatever we want.” In this case it means supporting your loved ones, no matter how parodical it gets. 

6. Supernatural, “A Very Supernatural Christmas”

As the series has progressed Supernatural leans more on the sibling dynamic between Sam and Dean, whose relationship often yields the most satisfying episodes. This Christmassy story hails from season two when their true bond had yet to be excavated, offering a hint of what the future had in store. And back then it wasn’t too rosy for Dean, whose days were numbered after making a deal with a demon. Still, that doesn’t mean the bad guys don’t need takin’ out. 

A couple of Pagan gods sucking up people through their chimneys to devour their souls take up most of the storyline – and it’s a lot of fun – with the sweetest moment arriving via flashback. Alone in a motel waiting for their dad to return from a demon hunt, the two brothers exchange gifts. Determined to make sure little brother has an awesome Christmas, Dean steals him a Barbie. Sam then gives Dean an amulet he’d been saving for their dad. That’s the spirit, boys. 

5. The Simpsons, “Miracle on Evergreen Terrace”

The Simpson family holidays are often plagued by the troublesome antics of Bart, who regularly ruins birthdays and Thanskgiving celebrations, so it’s no surprise that he’s at fault in this Christmas episode. His eagerness to open his presents triggers a chain of events involving a new fire truck toy, carelessness and a highly flammable Christmas tree. Everything is ruined. What does Bart do?

He concocts a detailed story. The blame for the burnt tree and piles of trashed gifts is pinned on a fictitious burglar. Springfield comes to their aid, raising plenty of money to replace the damaged goods. This is what The Simpsons does best; building up a moral to the story right from the off. You know what’s coming, and how it’ll play out, but it’s still a joy to watch them all realise the true spirit of Christmas. It’s a dishcloth.

4. Black Mirror, “White Christmas”

Hardly an uplifting series is it, Black Mirror? Showing us how dire the world will become should we continue using our smart tech. Well, nothing changes in White Christmas. Sin is in, and as usual, no-one’s really enjoying it. 

Watching the episode, however, is very enjoyable. A bronzed, confident Jon Hamm – is there any other kind? – plays opposite a cowering, pasty Rafe Spall. The two are trapped in a tedious job that’s never really described, only coming together for Christmas. Backstories are revealed via some hellish flashbacks that cast both them in an uncertain moral light. Like all the best episodes from the series, it’s about the tech — and how even with some incredibly advanced gadgets at our disposal, we continue to make terrible decisions. 

3. The X-Files, “How the Ghosts Stole Christmas”

The X-Files absolutely nails all of its Christmas episodes. Partly through the show’s design, that acts around the deeper mythology arcs and monster-of-the-week episodes without feeling uneven. How The Ghosts Stole Christmas is Mulder and Scully at their standalone best, investigating a haunted house where two quarrelling lovers murdered each other years before. 

Things turn into a cat-and-mouse game fast. Both spirits of the dead couple – Lily Tomlin and Ed Asner are brilliantly cast as the bitter pair – goad Mulder and Scully into the same fate. The ghosts trick the two agents through a series of mind games, to make out that the other one is trying to kill them. They’re not dumb, and figure out what’s happening soon enough, escaping the house and exchanging gifts. Despite having explicitly said they weren’t going to. Aw. 

2. Buffy The Vampire Slayer, “Amends”

Across its seven seasons Buffy made a habit of subverting convention; and never was that better achieved than with Joss Whedon behind the camera. The show’s creator, he also wrote the Christmas episode which deals with the impending new year as a chance to face demons – literally and figuratively. For Buffy herself, it’s the return of Angel, all brooding and tormented with his soul intact. He wants to die, bit of a Chrimbo dampener, and she wants him to live. 

Whedon penned the best episodes of the show and Amends is among that bunch. One-liners such as “It’s not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy, it’s the man,” cut through the tweeness of a freak snow storm, and in retrospect make the sight of Buffy and her mom enjoying Christmas even more bittersweet. Excuse me, I think I’ve got something in my eye. (Yes, it’s tears).

1. Doctor Who, “A Christmas Carol”

Accept no substitute when it comes to the Doctor. A Christmas Carol is arguably the best of all the Who Christmas specials – depending on your preference – reinventing the classic Dickensian yarn for legions of Whovians.

This seasonal episode opens with Amy and Rory on a doomed spaceliner that’s on the cusp of crashing. The Doctor steps in and locates the only man who can help save his two companions, and the thousands of remaining passengers, by aiding the malfunctioning craft.

Enter: Michael Gambon. Perfectly cast in the role of the stick-in-the-mud curmudgeon Kazrak Sardick, – the richest grump in town – he flat-out refuses to help. The Doctor has other plans that involve recreating the ghostly machinations of Dickens’ tale through use of the TARDIS. It’s a heart-warming and rather intimate expression of the “be grateful for what you have” maxim, that ought to bring much cheer to any crowd gathered around the box.

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If you’re careening towards your family meetups this Christmas and you’ve forgotten about poor data-Kevin on your flights home (oh, the irony) here’s how to find and download him so you can display his tricks and traps this holiday season. Given that there are more streaming services than Home Alone films nowadays, we’re going to run you through where to find Home Alone online if you’re in the US, UK, Canada or beyond. Let’s get into it, just make sure you go easy on the Pepsi, ok?

And if you’re looking to open up your viewing over Christmas, here are the best VPNs for Netflix (opens in new tab) you can subscribe to.

How to watch Home Alone (US)

Being the new kid on the block in the streaming world, Disney Plus (opens in new tab) has done a great job of commandeering a number of great Christmas movies into its library, including the excellent Home Alone. If you want to escape a monthly subscription, grab it on the PlayStation Store (opens in new tab) for $2.99 or iTunes (opens in new tab) for $3.99. 

How to watch Home Alone (UK)

Bless your macaroni dinners, UK pals, Home Alone is cheap this Christmas. If you fancy penciling in a date, it’s on Film 4 on Boxing Day afternoon. If not, you have a few solid options. It’s £5.99 to own it forever in 4K via iTunes (opens in new tab), or for a cheap option, you can rent it from the PlayStation Store (opens in new tab) for £2.49.  

How to watch Home Alone (Canada)

In Canada, your options for subscription services include Crave and of course, Disney Plus if you wish to spend an evening watching Home Alone this Christmas. If you want to buy or rent the film, you can get it for $3.99 on Cineplex and the PlayStation Store (opens in new tab), or $4.99 for the 4K version on iTunes (opens in new tab). I bet Marv’s iron burn looks incredible with double the pixels! 

How to watch Home Alone online in other regions

If you’re in Australia, your lot is fairly similar to the fine people of Canada. head to Disney Plus (opens in new tab) for your Home Alone fix or you can rent it for $4.99 on iTunes (opens in new tab) in glistening 4K. 

How to watch Home Alone online via VPN

You might be looking at some of the prices above and wanting a cheaper deal on your region’s version of Home Alone. There’s an easy way to get around that region roadblock. Watching via VPN has never been easier: installing the software allows you to trick your ISP into thinking it’s in another country, opening up that country’s library of movies (and most importantly, prices) to you. 

So, if something is cheaper on Apple in the UK, for example, and you’re on the East Coast of America, simply fire up the VPN, set your server location to London, Manchester, or any number of UK cities and away you go. It really is that simple.

Best VPN to Home Alone online

If you’re mindful of security and want a secure, long-term option, Nord VPN is going to be the best VPN for you. At only $3 a month if you sign up for 3 years, the service also boasts 2048-bit encryption, oodles of servers to choose from and, best of all, a 30-day money back guarantee if you’re not happy with the service. 

If you want something a little cheaper but just as reliable, Vypr VPN is worth a shot. It’s only $5 a month if you sign up for 12 months and, whether you’re streaming or downloading, it’s going to be equally fast for you. Even better, you get a three-day trial so you can dip your toe in the VPN water before committing outright.

For a great all-rounder, try Express VPN. It’s available to use via PC, Mac, iOS, and Android and comes at a decent price. It’s one of the most reliable VPNs, it doesn’t track any of your usage and its ease-of-use makes it the best option for VPN newbies.

Some online stores give us a small cut if you buy something through one of our links. Read our affiliate policy (opens in new tab) for more info.

The post How to watch Home Alone online this Christmas appeared first on Game News.

With the streaming wars raging on it’s getting more and more difficult to figure out which service holds the license to your favorite Christmas films, so in this short guide we’re going to run through how you can watch Elf with ease whether you’re based in the UK, US or Canada, with a word on how to join in on the fun if you’re outside of those regions by using a VPN. Let’s get into it, my sweet arctic puffins.

And if you’re looking to open up your viewing over Christmas, here are the best VPNs for Netflix (opens in new tab) you can subscribe to.

How to watch Elf (US)

Cracking out the candy canes and watching Elf in the US is as simple as it should be this year. There’s no budging on price though, it’s a cool $3.99 on Amazon (opens in new tab), iTunes (opens in new tab) and the Microsoft Store (opens in new tab). (opens in new tab) Fill your stockings, and impress your friends and family by noting that Elf was directed by Jon Favreau, who, as well as being Tony Stark’s right-hand man in the MCU, is now in charge of The Mandalorian! Quite the glow-up. If they’re getting on a bit they might best know him from Friends… 

How to watch Elf (UK)

As well as being broadcast on ITV on Christmas Eve at 17:15 (doesn’t that just make you feel all fuzzy?) Elf is widely available to those of us with an Amazon Prime subscription, and you can stream it as much as you like via Prime Video (opens in new tab). If you wish to pay for it and don’t fancy grabbing a trial or setting a schedule, you can rent Elf for £3.49 on Amazon (opens in new tab) or iTunes (opens in new tab). 

How to watch Elf (Canada)

In Canada you can catch Elf on Cineplex (opens in new tab) or head over to the iTunes (opens in new tab) store and pay $4.99 to rent it in HD. Beyond that, you could check out the Microsoft (opens in new tab) store and pay the same $4.99 for the privilege. Depending on the ecosystem you frequent, it’s your call! Make sure you keep an eye out for Peter Dinklage (Tyrion Lannister!) 

How to watch Elf online in other regions

If you’re in Australia, hit up Netflix for your Elf fix and consume to your heart’s content, you lucky lot.

How to watch Elf online via VPN

You might be looking at some of the prices above and wanting a cheaper deal on your region’s version of Elf. There’s an easy way to get around that region roadblock. Watching via VPN has never been easier: installing the software allows you to trick your ISP into thinking it’s in another country, opening up that country’s library of movies (and most importantly, prices) to you. 

So, if something is cheaper on Apple in the UK, for example, and you’re on the East Coast of America, simply fire up the VPN, set your server location to London, Manchester, or any number of UK cities and away you go. It really is that simple.

Best VPN to Elf online

If you’re mindful of security and want a secure, long-term option, Nord VPN is going to be the best VPN for you. At only $3 a month if you sign up for 3 years, the service also boasts 2048-bit encryption, oodles of servers to choose from and, best of all, a 30-day money back guarantee if you’re not happy with the service. 

If you want something a little cheaper but just as reliable, Vypr VPN is worth a shot. It’s only $5 a month if you sign up for 12 months and, whether you’re streaming or downloading, it’s going to be equally fast for you. Even better, you get a three-day trial so you can dip your toe in the VPN water before committing outright.

For a great all-rounder, try Express VPN. It’s available to use via PC, Mac, iOS, and Android and comes at a decent price. It’s one of the most reliable VPNs, it doesn’t track any of your usage and its ease-of-use makes it the best option for VPN newbies.

Some online stores give us a small cut if you buy something through one of our links. Read our affiliate policy (opens in new tab) for more info.

The post How to watch Elf online this Christmas appeared first on Game News.

The lore behind the Gift Seeker Voyages isn’t your average holiday story. Apparently, a massive shipment of gifts was lost to the sea and somehow scattered across the map, and Stitcher Jim wants you to collect them and deliver them to his “love” at The Reaper’s Hideout – his love being this absolutely lovely masked stranger.

Never mind why Stitcher Jim’s beloved is so greedy for gifts this season, as you’re rewarded with Doubloons for your service. To take on Gift Seeker Voyages, simply visit Stitcher Jim in any tavern. And in the spirit of the holiday season, you can also choose to leave any gifts you find under the brightly-lit and very festive mast on The Reaper’s Hideout for special Commendations.

The other major update now available to Sea of Thieves players is the Maiden Voyage mode, a tutorial for new players to learn the ropes in a safe space before taking on the open seas. The tutorial can be accessed by any Sea of Thieves player and takes you to an offline island to practice sailing and docking your ship, battling skellies, and finding treasure.

The Festival of Giving update also adds new themed items to the Pirate Emporium and Black Market – check out the complete release notes (opens in new tab) straight from Rare for a complete look at everything new, including balancing updates and bug fixes.

Holidays are always better with a few pets around, so find your new friend with our Sea of Thieves animal location guide (opens in new tab). 

The post Sea of Thieves holiday event adds Gift Seeker Voyages and tutorial mode appeared first on Game News.

And perhaps the worst part is that I’m no longer ashamed of it. Though I did try to resist for a long time. When, just a couple of Decembers ago, I first became consciously aware of the sheer volume of saccharine, sparkling bilge available to gush into my living room via the multitude of low-rent, no-name, free TV channels out there, I was initially unmoved. There may have been some barely perceptible, low-level, film-snob snark on the periphery of my psyche, but hardly enough to move the needle. But somewhere along the line, suddenly, and far too quickly for me to prepare my defences, something changed.

I’m not sure exactly when it started. Perhaps the insidious, joyful seeds were planted on that first, fateful Saturday morning, as I reclined in my customarily decadent, nigh-Roman sense of self-congratulation and embarked upon a really damn serious Christmas holiday breakfast, while casually perusing Dean Cain haphazardly helping some orphans. Cain was certainly there in the early days (as he has been often since (opens in new tab)), the erstwhile Superman now dedicated to an entirely new, slightly less remarkable, but tenfold schmaltzier brand of heroism – okay, fivefold; I am under no allusions as to the time I wasted with Lois and Clark in the ‘90s. In one of the earlier instances, I recall, he appeared as a hapless everyman forced to embrace his humanity by assisting some cherubic children with something festive. Probably something important and community focused, centred around the bluntly symbolic totem of a Christmas tree.

These ones are *actually* good

The 25 best Christmas movies to watch this festive season (opens in new tab)

I italicise those words not just because the shamelessly manipulative plot elements they represent now stick in my Crap Christmas TV Movie experienced mind like furballs in a hacking cat (where once my genre naïveté missed the deliberate nature of their conniving, heart-warming design), but because they, among many other, very specific devices, will become important in a moment. But regardless of the specifics, Crap Christmas TV Movies, under the disarming air of innocuous, weakly-written tosh, got their warm, gooey, relentlessly reassuring tendrils into me faster than I could realise it was happening. And now I am lost. The very least I can do from this fake-snow caked, carol-haunted, Hallmark-binging pit is to explain the methods and DNA of the Crap Christmas TV Movie, so that you might know the true power of its cunning ways and form. 

The rules of a brilliantly terrible Christmas 

There are, I have discovered along my odyssey into the twee and frosted, precisely eight core plot elements that may appear in a Crap Christmas TV Movie. Every single entry in this nobly awful genre will be made out of these elements.

1. A well-meaning but troubled single parent, usually a dad for some reason, is extra-troubled in the run-up to the holidays.

2. A wholesome, local community institution is under threat.

3. A soulless, corporate city-type is forced into a rural, fish-out-of-water scenario.

4. Unless A Special Thing happens, Christmas will not happen (feared outcome can be scaled from small, local, ‘Things will not be as good this year’ variant to full-blown, ‘Holy crap, Christmas will literally not happen anywhere in the world’).

5. Someone is struggling to get home for the holidays, and/or is unsure where home really is in their heart, but along the way will learn that the journey is as important as the destination, even – in fact especially – if the destination is not where they initially thought it would be. Which it almost invariably isn’t.

6. A cute Elf girl leaves the North Pole to learn Important Life Lessons.

7. Anyone over the age of 60 has an 80% chance of being secretly magical.

8. It’s basically a remake of A Christmas Carol.

Choose any two to three of these elements at random, and you, my friend, have yourself a solid gold, bona fide, 100% authentic, Crap Christmas TV Movie story. And it will be awful. Just unremittingly awful, hackneyed, naïve, clichéd trash. But I will be unable to not watch it in its entirety. Cute Elf girl falls in love with troubled single dad (probably Dean Cain) who is about to make Christmas not happen by marrying the wrong (soulless, corporate) woman? Totally exists. Misguided corporate type visits wholesome rural community her company is buying up and discovers her true home? I’ve seen, like, six versions of that. They’re all terrible, and I will happily watch versions seven, eight, and nine.

There are, however, more complex layers to get right if you’re going to do this cloying, drowning-on-golden-syrup experience properly. Because you might notice that a few of the plot-points I’ve mentioned above can actually be applied to ‘proper’ Christmas films as well. You know, the kind that get released in cinemas, and have recognisable actors (more on this, also, in a moment), and that people actually watch on purpose rather than simply because they can’t peel themselves off the couch, have eaten nothing but chocolate since 9 am, and oh-look-it’s-2:30-the-day-is-basically-over-anyway-just-what’s-the-point-in-even-bothering. Thus, getting a Crap Christmas TV movie right (or at least wrong in the right way), is not as simple as perhaps I’ve made it out to be.  

For starters, if you really want to avoid falling into the trap of making thoughtful, well-crafted entertainment – and I strongly advise that you do – you must immediately jettison all hints of irony or self-awareness. This is a Crap Christmas TV movie we’re talking about, and as such, innocence and unremitting niceness are key above all else. To a punishing degree. To the degree of utter, blissful stupidity. To the degree that any expression of being genre savvy, creatively insightful, or possessing of any level of surprising or off-kilter wit is tantamount to the worst kind of bleak, nihilistic cynicism. And you can’t expose the children to that. Just think of the children. The cherubic children. One hint of anything but happily mind-numbing, surface-level pleasantness, and you might as well be the moustache-twirling villain of a Crap Christmas TV Movie of your own.

And speaking of those villains, oh boy, they’d better be cartoonishly one-dimensional. Because we are, at heart, talking here about movies where the True Meaning of Christmas vanquishes any and all blights wholeheartedly, unambiguously, and with zero room for philosophical questioning. And so, to give your bad guy or gal but a dash of nuance or depth is tantamount to admitting that pure niceness may not always be the answer, and that more complex issues might be in play. And that implicitly questions the True Power of the True Meaning of Christmas. And that’s just not cool. Get out of here with that shit.

Naughty or nice. There is no in-between 

So the villain will exhibit three superficial characteristics, and these superficial characteristics will be the totality of their identity. They will be materialistic, they will have no care for Christmas – seeing it as silly, inconvenient, and/or childish, but importantly, rarely hating it, as that might imply some manner of depth, via traumatic emotional backstory – and they will be unquestionably, invariably Corporate. Because it is important to remember that there is nought more evil than materialism and profiteering as we lovingly wrap the expensive gifts we smashed that granny for during the Black Friday sales. 

And so are these!

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As for the heroes? There are two types. The protagonist will – in accordance with all traditional story structure since the advent of storytelling – be on a voyage of self-discovery. The only differences here are that the discovery will always be “Christmas, fuck yeah”, and that they will attain this wisdom along a path paved with almost zero tension, challenge, or hardship to tangibly overcome via any specific act of agency. They will start out in a bad situation – or at least observing one – and eventually the situation will be good, because Christmas will have made it so.

There are two possible perceptions of this character journey. The first is that, subtextually, this is all as it is in order to reinforce the message that The True Meaning of Christmas is so powerful and all-consuming that nothing can stop it. It will simply erode all barriers in its way. The closer one gets to Christmas (and these films always, always take place in the run-up to Christmas Day), the more potent Christmas’ power becomes, until all are bathed in the invisible, festive Light That Melts All Ills. The second interpretation is that these films are simplistically written with lazy characterisation, and that a lack of real peril makes them easy to sell to pretty much any channel for broadcast at any time of day or night. But I choose the former notion. I am totally right about this.

And as for the secondary characters? Christmas personified, one and all. They will be relentlessly supportive. They will be unquestioning in their understanding of what is right and good. While they may sometimes suffer small set-backs of their own, they will tirelessly power through, because Christmas is coming, and they know that Christmas will fix everything.

Sometimes they will know this unconsciously, and sometimes the majority of their dialogue will involve blanket stating this truth until protagonist and viewer alike absorb it via osmosis. But however they express it, their narrative purpose will be to act as landing lights for Christmas, like the burning fuel on the runway in Die Hard 2, after John McClane murders all of those terrorists in cold blood. They will be just as bright and just as warming, but they will never say “motherfucker”, because no-one in a Crap Christmas TV movie knows anything about swearing, vices that are not cookies, or sex. Any coupling that occurs at the end of the movie – and there will be a lot of it – results simply in cuddling, the only flushed afterglow coming from consuming eggnog in thick Christmas jumpers.

And in terms of casting, while no-one blockbuster-famous will ever appear, actors will frequently look just-perceptibly similar to someone actually famous, like an alternative, off-brand version, or a copy made with the RPG character creation sliders pushed a little too far. Or Dean Cain. I’m digressing here slightly though, and I suspect that this might actually be a factor related to the entire TV Movie ‘star’ ecosystem, and so will explore it in another article if I can get that pitch through. Screw it, this one got greenlit, so why the hell not?

But you know what? As crap, blunt, simplistic, naïve, schlocky, saccharine, and ceaselessly, mercilessly goopy as these films are, I do not feel a damn bit of guilt about ploughing through two or three on the trot at this time of year. Because you know what else? Sometimes we need things to be that simple. Hell, sometimes, regardless of the strife, stumbles, mistakes, and occasional, all-out carnage we tramp through during the rest of the year, regardless of the ups, downs, betrayals and disappointments, regardless of 2016 and 2017 being actual, not-fictional years that actually fricking happened, sometimes things are that simple. And that good. And that easy, if we just stop worrying and let them be.

Because whatever stupid crap might seem important at any given time, it isn’t. Ultimately, everything just comes back to good people and good times, at the end of the day, week, month, or year. And whoever your good people are, it’s worth relishing that they’re a thing. And that they’re a simple thing, but a brilliant one. And as rubbish as their writing is, as functional as their production is, as unsophisticated as their expression of every single thing they do is, Crap Christmas TV Movies just get that. They know it really is that simple, and they don’t care about looking simple as they point it out.

So do yourself a favour this year. Kick back at some point, find a naff TV channel you never watch, dig up a Crap Christmas TV Movie, watch the whole damn thing, and give yourself a nourishing couple of hours of simply not worrying whether or not you should like this goofy tosh. It’ll be one of the silliest, most frivolous, and downright emotionally healthiest things you’ll do all year. And ultimately, really, that’s the point of Christmas all over.

Happy holidays to you, your good people, and of course, to Dean Cain.

The post Forget Die Hard, Gremlins, and Love Actually. There is no greater art-form than the terrible Christmas TV movie appeared first on Game News.