Prepare the ban hammer. If you’ve been playing video games for more than five minutes, you know they have a tendency to be moral outrage magnets. If you can name it, games have been blamed for it, so it’s not too shocking that game bans have followed in force. For the children, I suppose, though I’m not sure how many children are picking up the Witcher or Command and Conquer.

Game bans brought down by someone somewhere in the world are so numerous it would be impossible to cover them all. Here are 19 high and lowlights. Prepare to be outraged for the opposite reason. 

Outlast 2 banned in Australia for about two days 

Outlast 2 is pretty grisly. There’s no denying it. There are skinned people on sticks, piles of dead babies and, every so often, a giant 9ft woman plunges a pick axe into your crotch and you watch the blood spew out from a first person perspective. Lovely. This, apparently along with inclusion of ‘implied sexual violence’ tipped the Australian Ratings Board over the edge, prompting it to refuse even handing out the highest R18 level of ratings.

However it turns out that developer Red Barrels actually sent the wrong footage in for classification. Along with the code was a video that didn’t represent the final product. Once this mistake was cleared up, Australia was free to wander the death filled cornfields. Phew. 

Getting Up banned in Australia for glorifying street art

Apparently some countries can’t handle a little rampant vandalism these days. Over in Australia, Marc Ecko’s Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure was refused classification (opens in new tab) (i.e. the censors wouldn’t give it a rating, which is a ban in every way but spelling) based on the idea that it glorified graffiti. And it did, since its entire premise is that a youth from a bad part of town uses the power of street art to take down rival gangs and the corrupt mayor who used an anti-graffiti campaign to cover up the fact that he murdered Trane’s father.

As you can probably guess from that description, the plot was a bit silly and kind of outside the realm of believability. Still, Australian censors thought that this game would act as a gateway to the righteous world of tagging, so it was never rated.

Command & Conquer: Generals banned in China for destroying China

Command & Conquer: Generals did not do well in China, for the same reason that kneecapping Lady Liberty would likely flop in the US. Not only does the game’s China campaign open on the nuclear obliteration of Beijing (good start!), but the player is directly involved in the destruction of Chinese landmarks like the Hong Kong Convention Center and the Three Gorges Dam. What, was the Great Wall too far away?

Not only did the government of China promptly bring down the ban hammer (which they’ve done to games for less), but even Chinese gamers who went to the trouble of pirating the title weren’t pleased with it (opens in new tab). Mostly because you have the option of bombing Tiananmen Square into rubble. Can you say cultural insensitivity?

Fallout 3 banned in Australia for encouraging drug use

You’d think in a dystopian wasteland where danger lurks around every corner and pain is a constant companion, you could get away with taking a few much-needed hits of Vitamin M. Not so, say censors in Australia, who briefly refused classification for Fallout 3 due to the player character’s use of morphine. Don’t remember that part? That’s because the developers changed the game entirely to account for these complaints, taking morphine out for every region and replacing it with Med-X. Which has the exact same effects, of course.

The full report (opens in new tab) goes into more detail on how the game’s use of “chems” pushed it over the hill into ban town because they were just too darn much like real drugs. Ultimately the ban was lifted when the chem system was scaled back and ‘morphine’ was changed to Med-X. Good thing too, or we’d all want to be like the Lone Wanderer and hang with Sister M. I mean, who wouldn’t want that guy’s life?

Witcher 2 banned in Australia for using sex as a prize

In its day, Witcher 2 was refused a rating in the land down under for going down under. Haaaaa, not sorry. Specifically, the issue was a scene where sex is used as a reward for Geralt completing a quest, which he can choose whether or not to accept. Chances are this refers to a mission given to him by a succubus, and that’s kind of their M.O., but whatever. Message received, sex as a reward for actions is bad.

At least, if he accepts it. Witcher 2 was eventually released after the scene was altered so that Geralt rejects the offer by default. Bewilderingly, everything else about the scene remains the same. I get the objection behind a reward-lay (romantic interaction doesn’t follow a three-steps-and-profit scheme), but when the reward is still totally a thing and the main character just refuses to take it? I mean, I guess we know he’s a good guy, or something?

Battlefield 3 banned in Iran for inciting international terror

Back in November 2011, the sale of Battlefield 3 was banned in Iran. It was all thanks to a scene where American soldiers lay siege to Tehran and the Grand Bazaar. The announcement was followed by raids on game shops to nab all existing copies, while a petition bearing the signatures of 5,000 Iranians accused the game of drumming up fear of Iran in the international community. Not unexpected, since the relationship between the US and Iran is famously sticky anyway.

There’s one wrinkle, though: Battlefield 3 was never officially released in Iran. Publisher EA has no resellers in the country, so all copies available when the ban came down were pirated. Is a “shot yourself in the foot” joke crass here?

Dead Rising 3 banned in Germany for having human-like enemies

Germany wins the blue ribbon for Europe’s most intense game restrictions. While changing a human to a zombie (opens in new tab) can get a game to pass muster in the likes of the UK or France, it’ll have no such luck in Deutschland. Given that Dead Rising is all about zombies, it’s no surprise that this series has seen repeated bans in Germany. Dead Rising 3 is the latest victim, expunged from the Xbox One launch line-up in this country.

This pretty-goddamn-violent zombie thrasher is considered tolerable in many places, since your main target are fantasy legions of undead monsters. However, Germany’s Bundeprfstelle fr jugendgefhrende Medien (the gaming police) places heavy restrictions on games where you kill any human or “human-like” enemies, so zombies qualify. Then again, Gears of War 3 was deemed acceptable without edits, so I can’t pretend to understand the logic.

Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 and Medal of Honor: Warfighter banned in Pakistan for smearing the nation’s image

Two for the price of one here. In January 2013, the government of Pakistan banned Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 and Medal of Honor: Warfighter in one fell swoop, saying they “show the country in a very poor light.” Since both of these military shooters essentially equate Pakistan with terrorism, I’d say that’s a fair comment.

They probably should have tried to convince the country’s game retailers to accept the ban, though, or at least told them about it. On the day of the ban, the owner of Islamabad’s biggest game store claimed to have not even heard about it, and another anonymous shop-owner said (opens in new tab) “The nationalists and the religious ones don’t like [these games] but I’m not going to stop selling them.” Nothing yells louder than green it seems.

Mass Effect banned in Singapore for lesbianism

Finally, a game that wasn’t banned over political outrage. Just lesbian sex! Wait, is that better, or worse? Either way, back in 2007 Singapore banned the first Mass Effect because it contains an optional scene of lady Shepard and Liara T’soni gettin’ bizzah. While in many places this was met with newscaster pearl-clutching and adolescent fist-pumps, the ladies’ “kissing and caressing” translated to “gratuitous sex” in Singapore, which barred it from release.

Not that the ban lasted long. Originally, it went through because the nation didn’t have a proper video game rating system, making it harder to judge degrees of debauchery. However, when the ban shockingly resulted in backlash, officials used the country’s movie rating system instead, dubbing Mass Effect an M18 and lifting the ban only a few days after setting it. Now the people of Singapore can enjoy softcore lady-on-lady action to their heart’s content. Freedom.

God of War 2 banned in Saudi Arabia for sexual themes

If Iran and Pakistan’s examples are any indication, our gaming brethren in the Middle East sure know their way around a game ban. Saudi Arabian gamers are no exception, because even in the face of strict content restrictions and fines for playing banned titles, many manage to sneak prohibited games anyway. One good example is God of War 2, which was banned for sexual content (and possibly the use of the word God in the title) upon release. However, it’s still very much available for players who know where to look.

Satisfied as the nation’s moralizers were with the decision, gamers weren’t pleased, and they weren’t deterred either. Speaking to Kotaku (opens in new tab) about ways of circumventing the ban, Saudi Arabian user Alaa A explained that retailers still sell black market copies of the game, just packaged and shrink-wrapped as something else. Congratulations, Alaa, you deserve a go at that fantastical debauchery.

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The post 19 games banned across the world, and why they got the axe appeared first on Game News.

All of the various and sundry releases for GTA 4, The Lost & Damned, and The Ballad of Gay Tony are supported whether you owned them digitally or on disc. They’re also available for purchase on the Xbox Store.

Even if you’ve put more hours than you’d care to admit into GTA 5 (opens in new tab) over the last few years, it’s still worthwhile to revisit its predecessor. GTA 4 made some interesting choices that Rockstar chose not to repeat in the next full game; much heavier car handling and a depressing-as-hell main story to name a few. At least give The Ballad of Gay Tony a spin if you haven’t before. There still isn’t anything else like its story of anxious upper class excess (and accompanying club-bouncing, base-jumping action) in video games.

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AI companions tend to come in a couple different flavors. There’s the true companions, versatile and interesting characters who really add something to the experience, like Elizabeth from BioShock Infinite or Alyx from Half-Life 2. Next are the harmless annoyances, who aren’t great to have around but don’t get in the way–Ashley Graham has the good sense to keep her head down, and Navi has some alright advice here and there. And then there are the AI companions who actively make the game worse by existing. From charging headfirst into enemy bullets to using up your precious resources while you shriek in rage, they seem deadset on making EVERY level the “hell level.”

In (dis)honor of these hated, virtual hanger-ons, I’ve compiled a list of the worst AI companions gaming has to offer. Hoarders, pesterers, jerkfaces and straight-up dead weight–they’re all here, and they’re going to do their best to ruin your fun. It’s time for some naming and shaming!

Sheva (Resident Evil 5)

The thing about going into battle with someone is that you need to trust them. “With your life” is a pretty good benchmark, since your partner will hopefully be stopping bullets and knives from trying to occupy the same space as your internal organs. That’s why so many players hate Sheva, Chris Redfield’s partner in Resident Evil 5: she can’t be trusted. She consumes all your shared ammo and health items like its penny candy, and when you’re on your last legs and need her most, she has a penchant for standing around and letting nature run its course. She may not be a bad character per say, but it’s kind of hard to remember that when she’s watching you die like an unfeeling robot.

Tails (Sonic 2)

Bless Tails; he really does try. He just sucks so bad that failure is his only option, and he simply can’t keep up with Sonic “Gotta Go Fast” the Hedgehog. Sometimes that’s literal, like when he’s so slow on special stages that he regularly runs into bombs and ruins everything. Other times he’s just flat-out dense, like when he collapses platforms before Sonic can even touch them or runs straight into very obvious spikes. You want to give him a little credit, because he will nab a ring or two for you. But then he’ll promptly lose them doing something stupid, or drag you down when you try to help him, and you’ll suddenly wish Sonic would aim his fist bumps a little higher.

Duck Hunt Dog (Duck Hunt)

With man’s-best-friends like these, who needs enemies? Not Duck Hunt, where your only real enemy in the struggle for duck dominance is your son-of-a-bitch hunting dog. Rather than focusing on your victories like any good dog should, the Duck Hunt Dog spends more time ridiculing you for your failures. The mockery never ends. Every time one of the slippery fowl gets away from you, the Dog is there to undercut your self-esteem until you just can’t take it ANYMORE!!! You can’t shoot him either, to the disappointment of frustrated players everywhere. However, he is set to appear in the upcoming Super Smash Bros for Wii U/3DS, so revenge might finally be ours.

Roman (Grand Theft Auto 4)

Niko Bellic deals with some unpleasant things in GTA IV, brawling with vicious gang members and dealing with the popo after accidentally mowing down a group of tourists. But few things in Liberty City make your stomach drop like getting a phone call and hearing “HEEEEEY COOOOOOOOOUSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN” blasting down the line. After the fifteenth time cousin Roman ask you to join him in an annoying bowling minigame, you start running people over out of rage instead of just for fun. It would almost be bearable, if that was the worst family failure you had to deal with. But when you have to kick the crap out of a bunch of guys to clean up your cousin’s mess? And then he calls you for the sixteenth time? Bowling balls aren’t all that’s gonna roll!

Survivors (Dead Rising)

I get that the zombie apocalypse can be stressful, especially when you find yourself locked in a shopping mall with a horde of the undead, packs of psychopaths, and no Orange Julius stands in sight. But as completely idiotic, frustrating, and useless as the survivors in Dead Rising can be, it looks like the zombies arent the only ones in want of brains. Most of your human cohorts are unbelievably slow, lagging behind you even when you’re carrying an injured party on you back. They’re virtually incapable of defending themselves even with a weapon, and have a nasty habit of walking into the thick of a zombie pack and expecting you to get them out. Sure, you can leave particularly infuriating survivors behind, but that hurts your overall score, and the one you left for dead could be replaced by someone equally useless!

Survivors, again (Left 4 Dead)

Speaking of left for dead–sorry, Left 4 Dead–those survivors don’t come out looking so good either when a fellow player isn’t controlling them. CPU versions of the zombie-blasting friends do their best to emulate human behavior, like a robot trying to calculate the square root of love, and do seem to get it right some of the time. But they’ll just as soon stare at you Sheva-like as you die, play lemming and leap off balconies, or get comfy in a toasty patch of fire. Forget any time you need to lay low and not draw attention–the AI knows that proper way to combat the horde is to run in with guns blazing. Oh, and never forget to walk directly up to a witch. Come on, they just need some love.

Superfly Johnson and Mikiko (Daikatana)

Granted, Daikatana itself is notoriously awful, and it’s AI characters could hardly escape the crapshoot. Still, Superfly Johnson (yes, that’s his actual name) and Mikiko go above and beyond, combining their powers to make this game as bad as it could possibly be. These two hit all the terrible AI touchstones: running directly into any stream of bullets you let loose, getting stuck on doors, and happily putting themselves in lethal situations where their deaths spell Game Over for you. They even spice it up a bit by being blithely hostile, occasionally shooting you in the midst of a firefight instead of getting shot themselves. Did I mention friendly fire is on? When Mikiko double-crosses you and steals the Sword-of-Ultimate-Power-or-Whatever at the end (I’d warn for spoilers, but who cares?), you almost start to wonder if these two were actually brilliant enemy combatants. But, no–they’re just that stupid.

Your comrades (Gears of War)

The characters in Gears of War are men and women of extremes. I don’t mean those times when they go mano-a-monster with the demonesque Locusts, but the part where they’re either really bad or way too good at it. In the first Gears game, your brothers in (h)arms spent a lot of time doing lethally stupid things, like meleeing a megaboss or standing on top of a campfire. Dom in particular is known for putting himself in deadly situations that are too dumb to comprehend. The developers saw the problem here and adjusted for Gears of War 3, by which I mean the game basically plays itself. Yes, replace my clunker van with a rocket I can’t ride. That’s so much better.

Natalya (GoldenEye 007)

Yes, Natalya, I know we have to go to the main control room. Now if you could do that without walking in front of all of my bullets, marching directly into enemy fire, or getting stuck on the goddamn door of the goddamn main control room, I would REALLY. FREAKING. APPRECIATE IT!!! The most frustrating part of an otherwise great game, Natalya is the epitome of rage-inducing escort bots. Progressing requires that you anticipate her slow, clunky movements and keep her from walking into the business end of a rifle like she thinks it’s shooting money and free ice cream. I’m pretty sure she leads a double life as a target dummy, which explains why she has such crap dexterity that she gets stuck on a doorframe.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT???

Even years after they first drove us into a frothing rage we haven’t forgotten these AI idiots, and I’m sure most of us would rather hang out with anyone else over them. A rabid wolverine, perhaps. What do you think? Does the memory of these horrible partners make you want to tear your hair out? Did we miss an odious offender? Tell us in the comments below, and share in our hate-pain. Hain. Yes.

Want more rage against hapless “helpers”? Check out the Top 7 video game sidekicks we hated. Would you rather sooth your wrathful heart? Check out 10 sidekicks that deserve their own game, because they’re not all useless.

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